Culture Change 101

This sort of training should be mandatory at every college (and high school, for that matter) in America.

Instead of teaching women not to walk alone at night or to carry Mace, some colleges are trying something much harder -- changing college men.

"The fact of the matter is that prevention comes down to, largely, males. Because males are primarily the ones perpetrating these crimes," said Lauren Pilnick, sexual violence education coordinator at Minnesota State University, Mankato.

Amen, sistah.

Jay Walker's Library

Oh my God, I would move in there and frakking live.

Fool Me Once, Fool Me Twice

Pete Townsend must have had a time machine when he wrote this song, because it so perfectly describes the state of this country.

We'll be fighting in the streets
With our children at our feet
And the morals that they worship will be gone
And the men who spurred us on
Sit in judgment of all wrong
They decide and the shotgun sings the song

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again

The change, it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the fold, that's all
And the world looks just the same
And history ain't changed
'Cause the banners, they were all flown in the last war

I'll move myself and my family aside
If we happen to be left half alive
I'll get all my papers and smile at the sky
Though I know that the hypnotized never lie

There's nothing in the streets
Looks any different to me
And the slogans are replaced, by-the-bye
And the parting on the left
Is now a parting on the right
And the beards have all grown longer overnight

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
Don't get fooled again

Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss

I think this will apply no matter who gets elected. (And I would double-dog-dare the Obama campaign to used this song as their theme, heh heh. Especially the part about being "hypnotized.")

Sarah Haskins Does It Again

How have I missed this?



I hardly ever watch TV, so I'm not up on the current state of commercials at all. However, Sarah's depiction of birth control ads as sanitized and sexless does not surprise me a bit.

I just wonder (although the answer should be obvious) how many female producers/directors said commercials have. 10-15 percent? Maybe? This should account for a sin of omission so great the viewer's lips shake and shimmy to shout it out.

Why do (most) women use birth control?

Not to control painful periods, but to AVOID PREGNANCY!!!

This is a "duh" moment if I ever heard one. However, any mention of pregnancy would confirm that women are indeed HAVING TEH SEX, and we can't have that. No matter whether women are single or married, the fact of their being sexually active must be swept under the rug...at least in teevee-land.

One wonders how all the children who watch said ads, and who advertisers are mortally afraid of offending (and/or educating) got there in the first place.

"My Five Inch Spike Heel"

I've just discovered an Australian blog written by some guy named Sam de Brito, and while he hardly qualifies as a feminist (indeed, if any man can be such a thing), he does seem to be an entertaining and occasionally insightful writer.

Take, for instance, this post.

High Heels: What Are They Good For?

So why the hell do women wear them? Feminist scholars such Jeffreys contend that, like many other harmful beauty practices, it is because "high heel wearing fulfills the dictates of male dominant culture and gives satisfaction to men".

"Woman are immediately recognizable as they walk with difficulty on their toes in public places. Thus high heels enable women to complement the male sex role of masculinity, in which men look sturdy and have both feet on the ground, with clear evidence of female fragility," she says.

Women, as they teeter around on their stilts look vulnerable, they can't run from danger, and, also, they're sending an unambiguous signal to men that they care enough about male sexual satisfaction to wear them.

I used to wear high heels when I was younger, although I never went in for spikes (or pumps--I could never see the sense of putting on a triangular shoe that bears no resemblance to the shape of an actual foot, unless you're a participant in the Chinese foot-binding fetish). Now I wouldn't be caught dead in anything but flats, because it gradually dawned on me that bearing my entire hundred-plus pounds on the balls of my feet couldn't be healthy for them, or my legs and back, for that matter.

Yet many women still wear the stupid things, and sometimes pay outrageous prices for them. Why? I can't see any possible use for a spike heel, other than (if you're lucky) to put an assailant's eye out. Yeah, just call 'em Manolo Blinders, instead of Manolo Blah-whatevers.

I asked the question of a successful female investment banker last month and, showing an incredible gift for analysis, she replied "It's just what we do" before admitting she wouldn't be seen dead in her office without heels.

Yet, Jeffreys says, "eight out of 10 women who replied to a global shoe survey carried out by the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons said their feet hurt mainly because of high heels", while a BBC study in 2001 "found that over 80 per cent of women would not change the type of shoes they wore solely to alleviate a foot problem", estimating that "three out of four women may have a serious foot problem by the time they reach their 60s."

Laying all snark aside, it seems to me that this is a very subtle form of brainwashing, and most of it can be laid squarely at the feet (pardon the pun) of the fashion and entertainment industry. Supermodels and nearly all of the female characters on TV and in the moves are shown tottering around in those male-gaze fantasies (since, after all, most television and movie producers, as well as fashion photographers, are male, and thus insist on dressing their female stars to their manly expectations). As do so many things with the patriarchy, this creates a vicious circle: since women are constantly being bombarded with such sexist images, they think it is the Thing To Do, even if it negatively affects their health.

This isn't to say that anyone wearing heels is stupid, only that if you never see anything else, you don't think anything of it; you just go along with the crowd. And I'm sure there are a lot of people who actually like wearing the things. Nevertheless, I think it behooves us to question ourselves and our reasons for doing so, on this as well as many other topics which mainly affect women (for instance, dyeing hair and wearing makeup).

It doesn't take long to ask ourselves: Why? Why am I doing this? Do I actually like my heels, and feel empowered when I put them on? Or am I merely kowtowing to societal expectations, and perhaps to a partner who thinks heels are sexy? If it is the latter, who are they sexy for? My significant other or me? If they're only sexy in the eyes of my significant other--and again, why does s/he think they're sexy? For the frankly bullshit reasons mentioned above?--maybe I should rethink wearing them.

This little bit of self-examination doesn't take long, and might just improve your life.

(Addendum: This is a lovely poem written by Scriber's Web, on the possible other use of a spike heel.

and my five inch spike heel
rammed
into his groin
at first I saw a flash of surprise
then pain
and more pain as he doubled over
i smiled and said
life is short
get over it
and walked out
slamming the door behind me.

Heh heh.)

The Sheep and the Goats

Part of a letter in Annie's Mailbox caught my attention. It's the second letter down, in reply to some jackass complaining about paying for his dates unless they looked like supermodels.

I am in my late 50s, very attractive and used to be a model. I am college educated, well read and was complimented the other day on my sense of humor. All my hard-earned money goes for Botox, liposuction, the gym, hairdressers and expensive clothing, just so one of these cheap old goats will give me a second look.

The first thought that came to my mind when I read it: In what universe is a "cheap old goat" (or any age goat) worth all that?

If the reply is, "Men won't look at me otherwise," my next question is: Why are you so concerned about men who are addicted to such superficialities?

Look, I exercise. I don't go to the gym because I don't think it's necessary. I walk. Usually for an hour or more at a time, up as many hills as I can find. I do it because (a) I like to walk; (b) I want to stave off heart disease and osteoporosis as long as possible; and (c) I don't have the money to revamp my wardrobe into a bigger size. (Or a smaller one, for that matter.) I haven't been on a scale in years; I gauge my need for exercise and weight control--at least, that's how it works for me; I know it's not the same for everyone--strictly by how my clothes fit. If it's suddenly hard to pull on my favorite pair of jeans, I know it's time to head for the hills more often.

Men looking or not looking at me don't have anything to do with it. My thighs and hips aren't supermodel skinny. So what? They do quite well to get me around on my hikes, and they hold up my skirts, so I'm satisfied. I've never done Botox; I figure judicious use of sunscreen and moisturizer works almost as well. Liposuction is way too icky for me, especially after working with a plastic surgeon's daughter and hearing all about how he took the lipo wand, jammed it under the skin, and rammed and wiggled it around to break up the fat, which is why his patients ended up bruised from hip to ankle. I don't know if that's the proper way of doing it, but it was certainly enough to turn me off.

As far as compliments go, the ones I remember are offered because of my attributes, i.e. "You're smart" or "You're funny" (which the Annie's Mailbox writer admitted to have gotten). Compliments such as those are of far greater worth than anything to do with looks. That's why this woman's response is so sad; she's been snookered into society's obsession with youth, beauty, and thinness--an obsession fueled in large part by the "cheap old goats" she is working so hard to attract.

It's a vicious, self-defeating circle, and unless we as women learn to take a step back and see it for what it is, unfortunately it will continue.

Cleaning Out the Cobwebs

I've been doing some housekeeping, as you can see. A nice shiny new template and rearranged link lists, among other things. (I downloaded several templates, so if I ever get tired of this one, I can just switch them out.) I added some new blogs and removed those I don't read so much anymore. But don't be offended if your blog isn't on the roll--I hate blogrolls that trail off into cybernetic eternity, so the ones here are the "Best of the Best." Rest assured, your feed is still in my Google Reader, even if there isn't a link on this page.